


Say Something

by giantpanda



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fix-It, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giantpanda/pseuds/giantpanda
Summary: Neil survived the earthquake, but six months later he and Claire haven't discussed their confession of loving each other.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 159
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been struggling with getting this story to come together, so I hope that you enjoy it! Thank you for taking the time to read!

In the six months since the earthquake that had almost taken his life, Neil had fought to get himself back to normal. That night he had stubbornly insisted that he was fine, only to find out that he had internal bleeding. If it wasn’t for Claire and Shaun’s last-minute risky idea, he wouldn’t have made it. He thought about that night often, Claire by his side telling him that she loved him, him telling her he loved her too, her resting on his chest as he finally was able to touch her, thoughts of all they would miss out on running through his mind. As his eyes had drifted closed for what he thought would be the last time, he was grateful that Claire was the last person he would see.

When he woke up a few days later, sore and disoriented, she was no longer resting against his chest, but instead was curled up in the chair next to his bed sound asleep. He had watched her for a few minutes, thinking that maybe he would now have the chance to build a future with her. His movements woke her, and she immediately checked his vitals and asked him questions about how he was feeling. He always knew she was good with her patients but being on the receiving end of her care showed him just how incredible she was. She didn’t mention their declarations of love, so he didn’t either.

As he began the slow process of recovering from surgery, he began to doubt his memories. He wondered if he had imagined her telling him that she loved him, a hallucination from his injury. But he didn’t think he could have imagined the weight of her against his chest, the feel of her hair against his fingers, the love he swear he saw in her eyes. Maybe she had only said the words to comfort him thinking, as he had, that he was going to die.

The days had gone by slowly, and he waited to see what Claire would do. He had been prepared before to push her towards Dash, her happiness meaning more to him than his own. He could push his love for her aside if it meant that he would still get to have her in his life. He had almost expected her to push him away, embarrassed about a confession that she didn’t mean. Instead, she continued to visit him whenever she could. She would pull up a chair next to his bed to share stories of the other doctors. She would come with scans and test results, asking for his advice and support, just as if he was in the lounge with her instead of in a hospital bed. He ached to ask her if her love was real, but if she wasn’t going to mention it, neither would he.

The physical therapy was rough, and there were days he questioned if they hadn’t made a mistake with the second surgery. Claire’s presence was what would help push him through. She may not want the same things he did out of their relationship, but her support and friendship were important to him. Her belief in him helped him through the worst days and the challenging ones. There was no one else he wanted by his side.

_Claire was quiet as she drove him home from the hospital. He watched her, looking for a clue as to what she could be thinking. He was grateful that she had been the one to bring him home, she was the only one he felt comfortable seeing how he was still weaker than he would like._

_“Thank you,” he said softly._

_She turned to look at him a soft smile on her face before she turned back to focus on the traffic. “I wasn’t going to let you take an Uber home.”_

_He laughed, “I appreciate it.” He hesitated before adding, “I’m sure you had other plans on your day off.”_

_Shaking her head, she said, “No, my day is free for whatever you need.”_

_It was on the tip of his tongue then to ask her if she meant it when she said she loved him. He wanted to reach for her hand and keep her close. Instead, he just repeated his thanks as they pulled up to his house. He felt a little overwhelmed. After the first surgery, he had never expected to be back here again._

_He careful unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. While he was stronger than he had been, he was still moving slowly. He noticed the concern in Claire’s eyes. The walk to the front door seemed longer than he remembered._

_Resting her hand against his arm, Claire stopped him. “Are you okay?” she asked softly._

_“Just looking forward to when walking isn’t exhausting,” he admitted._

_“Let me help you,” she said, stepping closer to him and wrapping her arm around his waist. “Lean on me.”_

_He hesitated a moment as he remembered again that night with her head on his chest, his hands in her hair and on her face._

_“Neil, it’s fine. I’m stronger than I look,” she said mistaking his hesitation for fear of hurting her, instead of what it really was, having her that close again._

_He slid his arm around her shoulders, leaning against her slightly. Her other hand came to rest against his stomach. He thought more times that he would like to admit of what it would feel like to have her touch him, but his fantasies never included needing her help to walk in the front door of his home. Once inside, he reluctantly moved away from her as she dropped her things by the door._

_“Thank you,” he said._

_“You’re welcome,” she said smiling at him. “Why don’t you get settled and I can make you lunch.”_

_“I’ve been in the hospital for six weeks, Claire, I don’t know that anything is still good.” She looked away and he knew instantly that she was hiding something. “What?”_

_“I may have stolen your keys after shift the other day to make sure things were ready for you.”_

_“You didn’t have to do that.” He frowned, “I thought Audrey said she locked my things up for me? How’d you get them?”_

_“I can’t reveal my secrets,” she said, “Go sit down.”_

_“No. I’m curious what else you’ve broken into?” he asked, pretending to be annoyed._

_“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she teased. “Now go sit down. I don’t make lunch for many people, so you’re lucky.”_

_“Are you sure?” he asked, “I seem to remember you telling me you’re a horrible cook.”_

_“I am,” she said, “Which is why I’m not going to be actually cooking anything. You just got out of the hospital, I have no intention of being the reason you go back.”_

_“That’s nice of you.”_

_“Just go sit down or I’ll make myself something and you can watch me eat.”_

_“So bossy,” he said grinning at her._

_He followed her directions and went to sit down on the sofa. He could hear her moving around in the kitchen. He was grateful to have her and couldn’t believe that she had gone through so much trouble for him. He hadn’t given it much thought to what it would look like when he got home, but he could tell that not only had she brought in groceries but also had cleaned for him as well. The words were there again, ready for him to tell her, but once again he convinced himself not to say anything. He couldn’t lose having her in his life._

_After a while she came to join him, with two bowls of soup. Sitting them on the coffee table, she went back in the kitchen for some drinks. She settled in on the other end of the sofa, and he enjoyed her company as they ate lunch together._

She was a constant presence in his house as he dealt with his recovery. She would come over to check on him before and after her shifts, would text him throughout the day at work, and would come over simply to keep him company. As he worked on regaining his full strength, their previous runs together turned into leisurely walks. He craved her company and wished he had the courage to ask her how she truly felt.

Audrey had picked up on their relationship when she had come over after shift and found Claire asleep on his sofa. Claire had come over to ask his input on a challenging case, and her exhaustion had taken over. He didn’t have the heart to wake her. When Audrey saw Claire, she had motioned for Neil to return to the kitchen with her and asked him if he still thought nothing was going on. Checking that Claire was still asleep, he had told Audrey everything. He had thought it would be awkward sharing his feelings for another woman with his ex, but they had gotten back to the friendship they had before their relationship. She had told him, he was being an idiot and needed to just talk to Claire, odds were she hadn’t said anything because he hadn’t. He hadn’t taken her advice, instead keeping things the way, they had been. 

Today was his first day back at the hospital, and they had him for the next few weeks working on light duty. No surgeries yet, and since he had missed six months, his residents had been reassigned to Marcus. As Audrey told him, he was no longer Claire’s boss, and since it had been a while since they worked together, maybe the fall out wouldn’t be as bad as expected. He still worried about damaging their current relationship and getting another broken heart for his troubles.

He glanced over at Claire with the others in the lounge. She was laughing at whatever story Shaun was sharing with her. He thought again about that night six months ago, when one of his biggest regrets was that he would never know what it would be like to truly be with Claire, that he never got a chance to experience the future with her that he dreamed about. The regret that he still didn’t know what it felt like to kiss her lingered. He knew that he was being a coward not talking to her about that night, as always, he told himself that this was better than nothing.

He startled as the door to his office opened and Audrey came in. She glanced over to where he had been looking and shook her head.

“You’re impossible,” she said, “You still haven’t talked to her?”

“No,” he answered softly.

“Neil, the two of you are practically already in a relationship, why won’t you say something to her?”

“We’re not.”

“Really?” she asked, incredulously. “What did you do for dinner yesterday?”

Thinking about the dinner he made with Claire, he didn’t really want to answer. While she maintained that she was a horrible cook, she didn’t seem to mind when they cooked together. Her presence had also been a big help to settle his nervousness about coming back to work.

Audrey locked onto his silence, “And what will you be doing after shift?”

He thought about the text messages from this morning with Claire discussing the possibility for taking a walk together or going for a short run depending on how his first shift back went. He had gotten his strength back and was even able to go back to the gym, but she still worried about him pushing himself too hard.

“You’ve made your point.”

She moved to sit in the chair in front of his desk. “I know your worried about messing things up between the two of you,” she sighed, “I know that our relationship is partly to blame for that.” He didn’t disagree with her. “But don’t you think the two of you have wasted enough time. Six months ago, you almost died. You would have, if Claire and Shaun hadn’t fought so hard for you.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I promise you, I’ll think about it.”

“I guess that’s as good as I’ll get out of you.”

“Did you actually come in here because you needed something or just to give me a hard time?”

Smiling, she answered, “Can’t I do both?”

“Of course. What do you need?”

“I was hoping you could look over these scans, and maybe brainstorm some with the others. I feel like I’m missing something, and I can’t figure out what it is, but I have a meeting to go to.” She handed him the information. “Do you want me to assign Claire to work with you? Give you a reason to have that conversation.”

“That’s not necessary,” he said rolling his eyes.

“And Neil,” Audrey said as she stood up.

“Yes?”

“It’s really good to have you back.”

“Thanks, it’s good to be back”

He started flipping through the scans as she left his office. He knew she meant well, but he wasn’t sure what to do about Claire. He glanced over at the lounge again. For now, he would focus on figuring out what was wrong with the patient. He would figure out what to do about his relationship with Claire later.


	2. Chapter 2

Claire sat in the lounge watching Neil in his office. After six months away, he was finally back at work. She knew he was frustrated that they were keeping him out of the OR, but she thought it was a good idea for him to ease back into things. She had been by his side throughout his recovery and had seen how he would push himself. While he was pretty much back to the way he was before the earthquake, she knew that he still got tired easier than before.

After listening to Shaun’s story about his date with Lea, she was glad that he had left the lounge and she could be left alone with her thoughts. She wondered if things would be different now that Neil was back. He technically was no longer her boss, but she was curious if he would want to spend less time together outside the hospital. 

She thought about the night of the earthquake and the familiar fear settled in her chest. Just days after she had realized that she was in love with him, she had almost lost him. She had blamed herself for not insisting that he get checked out earlier. As he had gotten worse, she had tearfully told him that she loved him, and he had said it back. Lying on his chest, with his hands in her hair and against her face, she realized that she couldn’t give up on him. As he had fallen asleep, she had started researching ideas, grateful when Shaun came in to help. It was risky and terrifying but better than saying goodbye.

Claire had also begun to spend more time with Morgan, wanting to offer her support to her as well since she had caused permanent damage to her hands and would no longer be able to operate. Their newfound friendship had started when Neil was still unconscious.

_Claire found herself by his beside again, watching his vitals hoping he would wake up soon. She needed him to wake up. She startled when his door opened, looking up she saw Morgan._

_“How’s he doing?” she asked._

_“The numbers have gone down,” Claire answered, “But he still hasn’t woken up.” She glanced at Morgan’s bandaged hands. “How are you doing?”_

_She shrugged, “It is what it is.”_

_“That’s not an answer.”_

_Morgan glanced at Neil, “You have enough on your plate dealing with your boyfriend.”_

_“He’s not my boyfriend.” Claire felt uncomfortable under her stare. “He’s not.”_

_“If you say so,” Morgan. “You need to get out of here for a while, let’s go get some coffee.”_

_She was reluctant to leave Neil and hesitated a moment._

_“Unless you want to keep your boyfriend company.”_

_Rolling her eyes, Claire stood up and followed Morgan to the cafeteria. They got some coffee and found a quiet spot to sit where no one was around._

_“How are you doing?” Claire asked, “Honestly.”_

_“Honestly,” Morgan answered. “I don’t know.” She glanced down at her hands flexing her fingers carefully. “That’s why I’d much rather talk about you.”_

_“There’s nothing to talk about.”_

_She scoffed. “That’s a lie and we both know it. Something’s been going on between the two of you for a while now.”_

_“We’re just friends.”_

_Morgan shook her head, “Friends don’t look at each other the way you two do,” she took a sip of her coffee. “There’s a reason I was able to make the favoritism complaint, and no one was surprised.”_

_“He doesn’t favor me.”_

_“Right,” she said, “He wants to make out with all of us.”_

_“Stop,” Claire said looking around, “He’s our boss.”_

_“And he almost died a few days ago, I don’t think that matters anymore.”_

_She took a drink of coffee to steady herself. She hated the reminder that she almost lost him. The fact that she could still lose him. He was upstairs alone, and she should be by his side instead of drinking coffee with Morgan. Despite herself, her eyes filled with tears._

_Morgan reached out and gently rested her hand against hers, “Claire, I think we both know that you’re not just friends.” She sighed. “I saw you two.”_

_Wiping at her eyes, she asked, “When?”_

_“You were out for a run. He pretended he was hurt so he could get ahead of you.”_

_She couldn’t help but smile at the memory. “He’s done that a few times.”_

_“You both looked so happy,” Morgan said. “I thought for sure you were in a relationship.”_

_“We weren’t,” she shook her head, “We’re not.” She started to fiddle with the lid on her cup, wondering if she could really trust Morgan. She had been the one to make the complaint, but she realized now that she had done it because of her hands. Taking a deep breath, she admitted, “I told him I loved him.”_

_“What? When?”_

_“The night of the earthquake, before Shaun got back and we did the surgery.”_

_“Did he say anything?”_

_“He said it back.”_

_“I don’t understand,” Morgan said, “If you both said it, why are you so adamant that there is nothing going on?”_

_“He didn’t mean it.”_

_“Do you really not see the way he looks at you?” she shook her head. “Did you mean it when you said it to him?”_

_“Yes,” she said without hesitation._

_“Then why do you think he didn’t?”_

_“He thought he was going to die,” Claire said softly._

_“Exactly,” she said, “Why would he lie to you?”_

_She shrugged, “Something to hold onto after he was gone.”_

_“You’ll have to ask him when he wakes up.”_

_“No,” Claire said, “I’ll see if he says anything.”_

_“That’s a stupid plan.”_

_Not wanting to talk about Neil anymore, she turned her attention back to Morgan, “How are you doing?”_

_“I have to wait until my hands are healed up and then we’ll see what happens next.”_

_“I’m sorry,” she reached out for her hand. “I’m here for you.”_

_“I know you are. I appreciate it.”_

_They had sat together for a while in silence thinking about how the earthquake had changed everything._

Neil had taken longer to wake up than they had expected, and she worried that it hadn’t worked. She spent every moment she could next to his bed, wanting to be there when he finally woke up. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but the stress of work and her nightmares about losing him had exhausted her. She had woken up to his movement and had been so relieved that he was okay. She checked over his vitals, his eyes on her as he did. She filled him in on what they did and what his recovery would look like. She had waited to see if he would bring up their conversation when they confessed that they loved each other, but he didn’t say anything, so she didn’t either.

As the days went by and he didn’t say anything, she felt that she had been right in thinking that he had said it back to her because he had wanted to bring her comfort thinking he was going to die. She didn’t want to make things awkward by bringing it up when he hadn’t meant it. Instead, she tried to push those feelings away and focus on supporting him through his recovery. She could be in love with him and still just be his friend. It was probably better that way anyway because she’d be less likely to end up hurting him.

There was a part of her that expected him to try to push her away during his recovery. However, the opposite happened, and he allowed himself to rely on her. She was grateful that she hadn’t messed up their friendship and that he knew he could trust her. While he was in the hospital, she still went to him when she needed help with a patient, and even went to him when she knew the answer but wanted to be with him. She had been the one to take him home from the hospital, supporting him as he walked inside.

She stayed by his side as much as she could. Their friendship grew stronger as he recovered, which she was grateful for. Even if he didn’t love her back, she was happy to be with him. Morgan repeatedly told her that she was being ridiculous, but she cared too much for Neil to ruin anything.

Glancing over again at his office, she noticed that he was talking to Dr. Lim. She was glad that Neil was back at the hospital and hoped that it wouldn’t be too hard on him to be back and not be in the OR. She also worried that he would overdo it, which is why she had suggested a walk after shift instead of a run but knowing him he’d want to go for a run. They had dinner together the night before but depending on how he seemed after his first shift back, maybe she would tell him she was too tired for one and they could go out to dinner instead.

She tried to focus back on her paperwork when she noticed that he was getting up to come into the lounge, she didn’t want him to catch her watching him. She looked up when he opened the door. Seeing him back where he belonged and thinking about how close she came to losing him took her breath away.

“How’s your first day back?”

“Boring,” he answered honestly, moving to sit beside her. “Audrey wants us to look through these scans on her patient.” He glanced around, “Where’d Shaun go?”

She shook her head, “I’m not sure.”

“So, he went to see Lea, but you don’t want to tell me, so he doesn’t get in trouble?”

She shrugged, “Maybe.”

“I guess it’s just us then,” he said.

She smiled at him, “I’m glad you’re back,” she said softly.

“Me too.” He handed her the scans, “If all I do today is look at test results, I’ll be good for that run tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll need it to be a walk.”

“We’ll see.”

Her phone vibrated beside her, and she picked it up, seeing a message from Morgan, “I heard Melendez is back. Told him you love him yet?”

She groaned and flipped her phone back over so he wouldn’t see the message.

“Everything okay?”

“Just Morgan. I’ll text her back later.”

“It’s weird that you two are friends,” he said, aware of how they had gotten closer the past few months.

“Really? Why?”

“Have you forgotten how competitive you two are?”

“The earthquake changed things.”

He nodded in agreement, “How’s she doing?”

“As well as she can,” Claire answered, not wanting to betray Morgan’s confidence. “It’s hard, but she’s adapting.”

“Well, she’s lucky to have you by her side.”

“Thanks.”

“Just make sure she knows, I was your friend first,” he teased.

Thinking about the hard time Morgan gave her every time they talked about her relationship with Neil, she doubted that she would ever forget. She thought for a moment to share her feelings with him but was too afraid to.

“I will.” She looked at the scans in front of her. “Why did Dr. Lim want us to look at these?”

“She thought there was something she was missing.”

“Okay,” she looked up at him, “I’m sure we can figure it out.”

“With our combined brilliance I have no doubt.”

They settled in together to figure out what was going on with Dr. Lim’s patient. It felt just like before the earthquake with the two of them working together. The only difference now was ignoring the fact that she was in love with him


	3. Chapter 3

Neil had been back to work for a few days and was incredibly bored. He understood why they were being cautious, but he was ready to be back in the OR. He enjoyed brainstorming ideas with the others, but he wanted to be the one to execute their ideas. Claire seemed to be the only one to sense his restlessness and was trying to find different ways for him to be included. He appreciated it, but he really was ready for everything to be back to normal.

Despite Audrey’s encouragement, he had not yet had the conversation with Claire that he wanted. He was nervous about it. Things were good between the two of them, and while he wanted more, he was afraid of ruining their friendship and afraid of getting his heart broken again. He wasn’t sure if he would survive losing Claire. She had become someone incredibly important to him.

Audrey had called the team together for a meeting, and he was wondering what she needed him to be there for. Since he was going to be on light duty for a few more weeks, he didn’t really want to be there to hear about an interesting case that the others would get to deal with. As he walked into the lounge, he was surprised to see that Morgan was there sitting beside Claire. Since she was no longer able to operate, Morgan had been working in the clinic as she figured out what her next steps would be. Claire didn’t share much with him, wanting to respect Morgan’s privacy, but he knew she was struggling. He was glad that she would benefit from Claire’s friendship. Claire smiled at him as he took a seat at the table.

“What’s this about?” he asked them.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Claire said.

The others slowly trickled in and no one seemed to know why Audrey had called them together. He listened as Shaun and Alex debated on what kind of case they could be working on. Eventually, Audrey came in.

“Good morning,” she said, “Thank you guys for being here. We recently got the opportunity to send two doctors to a medical conference in Seattle for a week.”

He knew immediately that he was going to be one of the so-called lucky ones. Since they still had him on light duty, his absence wouldn’t have as much of an impact on the hospital. He wondered if that was why Audrey had brought Morgan in. He knew that Claire had become closer to Morgan lately, but he really didn’t want to spend a week alone with her.

“Neil, we thought you could go and be one of our representatives.”

“Of course,” he said trying to hide his annoyance. He could tell by the look Audrey gave him, he wasn’t successful.

She looked at the others, “We didn’t want to make any assumptions, but we thought Morgan that you would like to be the one to go.”

He glanced at Claire disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to spend time with her for the next few days. He had gotten used to being with her when they weren’t on shift.

“No thanks,” Morgan said.

He looked at her in surprise and could see that the others were surprised as well.

“Excuse me?” Audrey asked.

“Why would I want to go and surround myself with other surgeons when I’m not one anymore?” she asked. “It seems cruel.”

“There will be other networking opportunities,” Audrey continued.

“Networking for what? Different clinics? Let someone else go.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“Okay,” she said looking to the others. “Do we have any volunteers?”

He knew who he wanted to volunteer but also knew she wouldn’t. She probably felt that she needed to support Morgan, who was obviously having a harder time than he realized. While he was frustrated to not be in the OR, at least he knew his absence was temporary.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, speaking up, “I’m supposed to be spending the weekend with Kellan. It sounds like a great opportunity.”

Shaun shook his head, “I don’t want to leave Lea.”

The others turned to Claire. “I can go if no one else wants to,” she said.

“Thank you,” Audrey said. “We’ll get back to you both on travel, the hotel and the actual conference.”

He stayed in his spot as the others got up and went back to work. He watched as Claire spoke with Morgan, even from the lounge he could tell that she was trying to be supportive. He folded his arms across his chest as he looked at Audrey.

“What?” she asked.

“Why does it feel like you arranged for that to happen?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I had planned to send you with Morgan.”

He shook his head, “Yet I’ll be spending the week with Claire.”

“Are you complaining?”

“No. It will be a good experience for her.”

“And maybe nudge you along to do something.”

“I knew you arranged it.”

“I didn’t say that,” she grinned. “Just don’t do anything stupid,” she said, as she left the lounge.

He sighed, sinking into his seat. A conference away from the hospital would be the perfect chance for him to figure things out with Claire, but as always, he would take his cue from her.


	4. Chapter 4

As Claire followed Morgan out of the lounge, she pushed away the fact that she was going to be away from the hospital with Neil for almost a week. There would be no excuse not to have the conversation she had been putting off. She loved him and it was getting harder to pretend she didn’t. Doing what she did best, she ignored it for now.

“Are you okay?” she asked Morgan once they were away from the others.

“I love having reminders about what I can’t do anymore.” She sighed, “I understand why I would be a good person to go, they won’t be short staffed if they send the one who can’t operate anymore.”

“They rely on you for more than just your surgical skills,” Claire argued. “You’re a brilliant doctor, and you’re going to figure out how to use that talent.”

“Do you ever get tired of being my cheerleader?”

Claire had been trying to be as supportive as she could with Morgan. She had even recommended that she speak to a therapist about all she had lost. Even if she hadn’t wanted to admit it, Morgan was grieving the loss of the life she had envisioned for herself. She had been relieved when she took her advice and reached out to a professional.

“Well, someone has to do it until you’re able to.”

“Can I be yours for a change?”

“I don’t need one.”

“You’re about to go to a conference with Melendez miles away from anyone else you know.”

She groaned, “Please don’t start.”

“What?” she asked, “I’m just saying this would be the perfect chance to stop being scared and tell him how you feel.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“You’ve been saying that for months.” She glanced towards the lounge, “Claire, have you even thought about the fact that he hasn’t said anything because you haven’t?”

“Or because he just wants us to be friends.”

“You both are idiots,” Morgan continued. “I can’t tell if you two are protecting each other or yourselves. You’re perfect for each other.”

“Don’t you have patients to see?” she asked, stopping the conversation.

“Yes,” she answered. “Just think about it, Claire. At least one of us should be happy.” She grinned, “Just make sure you’re careful. I’m not ready to be Aunt Morgan yet.”

“Morgan!” she exclaimed, glancing around to make sure no one overheard her.

Laughing Morgan headed towards the clinic. Claire looked and saw that Neil was alone in the lounge. Taking a deep breath, she headed in to talk to him. He looked up as she walked in.

“You had no idea Dr. Lim wanted to send you to the conference?”

“No,” he answered, “She knew if given the chance I’d say no.”

“Not a fan?”

“Sitting around listening to lectures is not my idea of a good time,” he said, “At least I won’t be tortured alone.”

“You make it sound like so much fun,” she said laughing. “I’ve never been to Seattle before.”

He shrugged, “We won’t have too much time for sightseeing, but I know a couple spots I can take you.”

“I’d like that. Thanks.” Her phone went off, and she sighed, “Sorry, I have to go.”

“It’s okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

Leaving the lounge, she was looking forward to getting to spend more time with him, but also worried about what it would mean for their relationship. Maybe some time away from the hospital could be good for both of them.


	5. Chapter 5

After learning that they were going to be going on the conference, Audrey had met with them both about their flight, the hotel and the schedule for the conference. He was disappointed to see how much of their time would be taken up with the actual conference. Since Claire told him she’d never been there before, he had hoped to get a chance to show her a few of the sights. He hoped he’d be able to at least take her to dinner.

The flight and car right to the hotel were uneventful, although he did learn that she wasn’t a fan of flying. She had gripped his hand tightly as they hit some turbulence on the flight. He did his best to comfort her by distracting her with stories about other conferences he had been on. It seemed to have helped as her grip loosened, but she hadn’t let go. He hadn’t minded and enjoyed the feel of her hand in his.

As they checked in at the hotel, they found out that the hospital had only reserved one room for them, and since it was the hotel where the conference was being held, there were no other rooms available. He was tempted to call Audrey to see if this had been part of her plan to encourage him to have that conversation with Claire. While he knew he needed to, he didn’t want them to be put in a situation that would make her uncomfortable. 

She was quiet as they rode up the elevator up to their room. He wanted to ask if she was okay and tell her that he could look into other hotels nearby if that would make her feel better. She followed behind him as he walked them towards their room. He unlocked the door and motioned for her to go ahead of him. Taking a deep breath, he walked in. His eyes fell on the king-sized bed in the middle of the room, and he had to admit to being disappointed that the bed was so large.

Dropping her things by the bed, Claire started laughing.

“What?” he asked.

“Just thinking about how you almost got to share this with Morgan.”

Making a face, he said, “Might have been better than Shaun.” She laughed harder, and he couldn’t help but join her. “I’m glad my almost misfortune is amusing to you.”

“We’ll see how you feel after a week here with me.”

He wanted to tell her that he always wanted her to be with him, but he decided against it. It wouldn’t be a good idea to make her feel uncomfortable when they already would have to share a bed.

He looked at the bed and then to her, “Are you okay with us sharing?” he asked. “I can see if they have cot we can use, or I could sleep on the floor.”

“You’re not sleeping on the floor,” she said, “The bed is big enough for us both. As long as you don’t mind.”

“I’m fine with it,” he said, a little nervous about being so close to her, although she was right that there would be plenty of room for them to sleep without accidently touching each other.

He started to unpack and hang up his things, while Claire moved her suitcase over to the table. He watched as she opened her suitcase and just pulled out her toiletries to place in the bathroom.

“You’re not going to unpack?” he asked.

“No,” she answered. “It’s easier just to keep everything in the suitcase.” He made a face, and she grinned at him. “And I figured you’d need the closet space.”

“Funny,” he said rolling his eyes, as he continued to unpack. “Would you like to take a walk around?”

“That sounds great after being stuck in the airplane and car all day.”

There was a small reception that evening, and the conference officially started the next morning. They headed out to walk around the hotel before the reception started. He enjoyed being in Claire’s company, and enjoyed the fact that they could walk together quietly without it being awkward. She asked a few questions about what to expect with the reception and conference the next few days, but mostly they walked quietly around the hotel.

After their walk, they went to the reception where they were able to get some food and drinks. Neil introduced her to some people that he knew. He enjoyed getting to brag about her talents to the other doctors. He knew it wasn’t her favorite to have to network with other doctors, but as always, she was incredibly charming, even if she didn’t mean to be.

They stayed for a while, but both were tired from the traveling, and decided to call it a night. One of the things he loved about being with Claire, was that he didn’t even need to say anything to her about being ready to go, a look was all it took to see that they were on the same page.

Once back in the room, he stepped out onto the balcony to give her some privacy as she got ready for bed. He leaned against the railing, thinking about how different the night could be if he told Claire that he loved her. There were moments when he felt that she felt the same way, but he was still too scared to say anything. He didn’t want to hurt her or himself. 

He looked up as she opened the door and stepped out to join him. He took in her soft pajamas and wondered what it would be like if he could hold her in his arms.

“Do you have a preference on which side of the bed?” she asked. He started to answer, but she interrupted him, “Wait, are you going to say the side by the door?” 

“Maybe, why?”

She shook her head, “You are so old fashioned, wanting to keep me safe if someone broke in.”

“I think it’s called being a gentleman.”

“And what about if someone comes this way?” she asked, gesturing to the balcony doors. “Will I have to protect you?”

“We’re on the twelfth floor, unless it’s Spiderman, I think we’re safe.”

“You’re such a dork,” she said laughing, “How were you Prom King?”

“I can’t tell you all my secrets,” he said smiling at her.

Shaking her head, she stepped back into the room, he followed behind her, pulling the door shut and double checking the locks. As she climbed into the bed, he grabbed his things and went to get ready for bed. He took a few minutes to take a few deep breaths. He loved seeing her laugh, and it was even better when he was the one who made it happen. He knew that this was going to be a long week if he didn’t do something about his feelings for her. Turning the light off in the bathroom, he went to check that the door was locked.

He looked over at the bed and she was already under the covers, but she was watching him.

“Goodnight,” she said softly as he climbed into bed.

“Goodnight Claire.”

The bed was large enough that there was plenty of space between them, space that he wished wasn’t there. With a sigh, he set his alarm for the morning, and settled in to go to sleep, he’d worry about what to do about Claire in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been to a medical conference before, but drew off my experience on the teaching ones that I've gone to.

An annoying beeping sound pulled Claire from a wonderful dream where Neil had just been about to kiss her after telling her he loved her.

“Turn it off,” she mumbled, sighing when the sound stopped finally stopped.

“Sorry,” he said softly.

“What time is it?”

“Six.”

She groaned, “Why are you up so early? I thought the conference started at nine.”

“I’m going to go to the gym. Want to join me?”

“No,” she answered, pulling the blanket up over her head. “Let me sleep like a normal person.”

She heard his laughter as he started moving around getting ready for the gym. She knew that he enjoyed going to the gym, especially once he was well enough to after his injury. She just hadn’t considered that he would be getting up so early to do it. She closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep and back into the dream his alarm had interrupted.

She startled sometime later, when she heard the click of the door as he came back in. She opened her eyes and watched him as he moved around the room. He hadn’t realized that she was awake yet, and she took the opportunity to check him out. She watched the way he moved to make sure he hadn’t overdone it at the gym, his movements not showing any sign of pain. Once she knew he was okay, she allowed herself to take in the rest of him. She had always thought he was attractive and seeing him sweaty after his workout was no exception. He went to pull his shirt off as he walked towards the bathroom and she closed her eyes, feeling as if it was wrong to see him undress without his knowledge.

Once he was safely in the shower, she sat up in bed and grabbed her phone, checking the time. She scrolled through her messages, rolling her eyes at Morgan’s messages asking if Claire had that conversation yet with Neil. She knew she needed to, but with them sharing a room and a bed, she worried about making things awkward for him if he didn’t feel the same way. He was important to her, and she wasn’t sure what she would do if she lost him in her life. She sighed as she heard him coming out of the bathroom.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning,” he said, back, “You’re in a better mood now.”

“What?”

He laughed, “I didn’t realize you weren’t a morning person.”

“I can be if I have to be,” she said, “But there was no reason to be up so early. And I was having a pretty nice dream when your alarm went off.”

“What about?” he asked, as he finished getting dressed.

“It’s not important,” she said knowing she couldn’t share with him that he had told her he loved her. “How was the gym?”

“Good,” he said, “Not many people there.”

“Of course not, most people sleep in when they can.”

“We’ll see if you agree once you spend the next eight hours in a seat listening to these lectures.”

She made a face, “At least I won’t fall asleep.”

“We’ll see,” he said grinning.

Shaking her head, she got up and got herself ready for the day. Eight hours in lectures didn’t sound like the best way to spend the day, but at least Neil would be with her. Once she was dressed, they headed down to the lobby to get coffee and some breakfast before heading into the conference hall.

Claire started to walk towards the front of the room, but he placed his hand on her arm to stop her.

“I know you’re a good student, but there is no way we’re sitting up front,” he said. “You’ll thank me later.”

Rolling her eyes, she followed him to the back of the room. “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be a bad influence on me?”

“I’m not,” he argued. “I just have more experience at these things.”

She settled in next to him, “I trust you.”

“Good,” he glanced around the room. “If we need to, it will be easier to sneak out from here.”

“Do you sneak out from conferences often?”

“No,” he admitted, “But it’s always good to know you have that option.”

As the day progressed, she began to see the wisdom in Neil’s seat choice. While some of the presentations were good, and she took some helpful notes about the topics, others were a struggle to stay focused. Even the breaks between sessions weren’t enough. With each different presentation, she began to feel as if her brain was numb and she was ready to leave. 

Thankfully, lunch was a good reprieve from the boredom. Neil lead them outside for some fresh air while they ate, and he filled her in on stories on some of the people that he knew. As always, there was a comfort to being with him. If there hadn’t been so many other people around them, she might have taken the chance to share her feelings with him. She thought of asking him to take a walk with her, but unfortunately the lunch break was over too quickly, and they had to return to the sessions.

Again, Neil proved to be the best person that she could be there with. He didn’t seem to mind when she stole his notepad to write him notes and ask him questions. He even humored her by playing tic tac toe during one of the more boring sessions, although he did keep track of how many games each of them won. After what felt like a lifetime, the final presentation was over.

“How many more days do we have to do this?” she asked.

He laughed, “I tried to warn you.”

“I think I’m more exhausted than when we have a thirty-six-hour shift.”

“I know,” he agreed. “Those last few were rough. What do you want to do now that it’s over?”

“Honestly?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“Sleep.”

“And here I thought sleeping in was all you needed.”

“That was before they bored me to death.”

“I wouldn’t be against a nap before dinner.”

She followed him onto the elevator. “I’d tease you about it being because of going to the gym, but today was mind-numbing.”

“Which is why I try not to come to these conferences.”

“Tomorrow will be better, right?”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” he said. “What do you want to do tonight for dinner?”

“I don’t know,” she answered. “Maybe wait and see how we feel after our nap.”

“Okay,” he said, opening their door and gesturing for her to go in.

She slipped her shoes off and climbed into the bed, watching as he did the same. Lying on her side, she watched him on his back with his eyes already closed. Wishing that there wasn’t this space between them in bed, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

As Neil sat trying to focus on another presentation on a so-called cutting-edge technique that his residents had already used, he thought about the ease with which the day went when he was with Claire. Their morning had progressed the same as yesterday, with her grouchiness at being woken up by his alarm. He had teased her about giving him a reason to stay, but thankfully she had been too drowsy to realize that his teasing was borderline flirtatious. He had quickly left for the gym, trying to figure out what to do with his feelings for Claire.

An hour at the gym had done nothing to help bring him any closer to knowing how to bring it up. Watching her get ready in the morning, seeing her sleeping beside him as they inched closer to each other, it was all beginning to get to be too much. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship, but they could be so much more.

Despite his boredom at the topics covered at the conference, he enjoyed watching her. He could tell when she was interested in the presentation, her pen flying across her notebook as she took notes. He could tell when she was overwhelmed with the information, her writing became much slower as she tried to digest what was shared. It was easiest to tell when she was bored as she would carefully slide his notepad towards her and start writing notes or asking him questions. So far today, she hadn’t started with tic tac toe.

He fought back a grin as she reached for his notepad again, quickly scribbling her latest message for him. He glanced down reading her comments about how she had assisted him on a surgery like the one the presenter was talking about. Knowing her dislike of speaking in front of people, he wrote back that she could raise her hand and offer her experience. He coughed to cover up his laugh as she drew a smiley face sticking out its tongue.

After why felt like hours, the session was finally over. Glancing over at her he asked, “Are you trying to get us kicked out?”

“If the next couple days are anything like today’s sessions, then yes.”

“Then you can be the one to explain to Audrey that you didn’t know how to behave.”

“I wasn’t the one laughing,” she said, as they stood up. “I was just doodling.”

“Be careful with that doodling, I may have to volunteer you for something.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me.”

“No?”

“I’d have to bring you with me, explaining to them that you were the one who showed me how to do it.”

He laughed, “You don’t even know what I’d volunteer you for.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said, smiling, “You try to bring me up there and I’m dragging you with me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“What do you want to do next?” she asked, “A nap like yesterday?”

He was tired from sitting there listening to the sessions again, but he also didn’t want Claire’s only experience of Seattle to be the inside of the hotel.

“What do you say about a little sightseeing?” he asked, “It won’t be much, but it might be nice to get out.”

“I’d like that.”

They went up to the room to freshen up before heading back down to the car.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“I thought we could just drive around.”

“Sounds good,” she said.

They drove around for a while, discussing the different sessions from the day and the ones that they enjoyed. Neil didn’t hold out much hope that the next day would be any better. The longer they stayed at the conference, the more he felt that Audrey had found a random one just to force him to have a conversation with Claire. He glanced over at her as they drove. Deciding that if she didn’t see anything else in Seattle, she needed to see the Space Needle. He found a parking spot and walked there together.

She rolled her eyes as he paid for the tickets.

“I hope you know this means I get to buy you dinner,” she said as they headed to the elevator.

“We’ll see.”

He watched her as they stepped out and could see the view over Seattle.

“Neil, it’s beautiful.”

“I know,” he said, his eyes still on her. 

In that moment as the sun started to set, he thought it would be the perfect setting to tell her that he loved her. However, he knew if he did, she would hate it. She was always very vocal in her dislike of romance, and he knew telling her his feelings when they were surrounded by people wouldn’t be something she appreciated. Instead, he took out his phone to take a picture of her. He wanted to remember this moment with her. He thought he was being sneaky but of course she noticed.

“Are you taking my picture?” she asked.

“I was getting the skyline, you just happened to be in the way.”

She took a step over, “There now I won’t be in the way.”

“It’s okay, I got a good shot.”

She bit her lip, “Want to take one together?”

“I’d like that.”

He stood beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist to draw her closer. He held up his phone to take a selfie with her. He realized it was the first time they had taken a picture together that wasn’t work related. She turned towards him, and he found himself getting lost in her eyes. They both jumped when they heard cheering nearby.

They turned to look and saw that a guy was down on one knee proposing. Neil didn’t need to look at her to imagine the face she was making.

Unable to resist teasing her, he asked, “Do you want to get closer to hear his proposal?”

“No,” she scoffed, “Public proposals are ridiculous.”

“Or romantic.”

She turned back to look at him, “What if she wants to say no but is afraid to embarrass him in front of all these people watching them?” she asked. “So, she says yes and then is stuck marrying someone she doesn’t want to.”

He could understand her point. “What would you do?” he asked.

“If I was with someone who did that,” she said, gesturing to the couple who were now kissing, “there would be no doubt that he was the wrong guy, and I would have no problem saying no.”

“Where would you want them to ask you?”

He still hadn’t revealed his feeling to her, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit that he had thought about being married to her. When he asked, he would want it to be on the balcony at the hospital where they shared so many moments together.

“Some place private,” she said. “Maybe some place that meant something to us.” She shrugged, “Or maybe I’ll be the one doing the asking.”

“That could be nice too,” he said softly. 

They both turned back to look out over the city lost in their thoughts. They took a few more pictures before deciding that they were ready for dinner. They were quiet as they walked around to find a nearby restaurant. 

They talked some more about the conference as well as some of the other things Neil could show her. Claire was able to pay for dinner, even though he tried to fight her on it. They were both tired from sitting during the conference, and soon headed back to the hotel. 

He stepped out onto the balcony as Claire got ready for bed. Spending time with her away from the conference reinforced that he needed to stop being scared and tell her how he felt. He didn’t want to do it now as they got ready for bed, but he would tell her everything tomorrow. Once she was settled into bed, he got ready and climbed in next to her, the gap still between them. He fell asleep thinking about the conversation he would have with her the next day.

He wasn’t sure at first what had woken him up. He laid there for a second trying to figure it out, he heard a sound next to him and realized that Claire seemed to be having a nightmare. He quickly closed the distance between them wanting to comfort her. He gently placed his hand against her arm, hoping not to scare her as he tried to wake her up. She startled awake and sat up, her eyes filled with tears. His only thought to make sure she was okay, he pulled her into his arms. She was trembling against him as he gently rubbed her back.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as she wrapped her arms around him, her head resting against his chest.

He realized that this was the first time he had held her in his arms. He held her as her trembling stopped. At first, he thought she had fallen back asleep, but she pulled away from him wiping at her eyes.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” she said, softly.

“Don’t apologize,” he said. He thought of turning on a light but felt she might be more willing to share what was wrong with just the moon lighting the room. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s nothing.”

He reached out and wiped at the tears on her face. She closed her eyes at his touch. “It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Just bad dreams, I get them once in a while.”

“About your mom?” he asked, remembering on one of their runs how she had shared about the dreams she would have after her mom’s death.

She hesitated before shaking her head no. “The earthquake,” she admitted.

“You never told me that before.”

“You had your own recovery to worry about.”

“And you were at my side for all of it,” he said, “You told me I could lean on you, you can always lean on me too.”

Her lip quivered and he ached to take away every once of pain that she was feeling. “You almost died.”

“But I didn’t,” he said, moving closer to her. “I’m fine.” He took her hand. “You saved me.”

“So did Shaun.”

“And who went to him?”

She looked down at their hands, not denying what he was saying. Shaun himself had told him that Claire was the one who had pushed for them to find something else to try. 

“I told you something that night,” she said. She looked up at him and took a deep breath, “I told you that I love you.”

“I remember.” He kept his eyes on hers. “I said it back.”

“Did you mean it?” she asked softly.

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “Did you?”

“Of course.” She took a shaky breath. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” he countered.

She moved her hand from his and rested it against his stomach where his scar was. Gently she ran her fingers over it, causing him to shiver from her touch.

“I thought,” she started her voice breaking, “I thought you said it back because you wanted me to have something to hold onto after you were gone.”

“And I thought you were trying to bring me comfort.” He shook his head, “We’re both idiots.”

Smiling at him, she moved her hand from his side up to his face, “I love you,” she said.

He reached up and placed his hand over hers. He moved her hand to press a kiss against her palm. “I love you too.” She turned away from him and yawned. “We can talk more in the morning, we should get some sleep.”

She placed her hand against his arm, “You don’t have to go back to your side of the bed.”

“Good, because I didn’t want to.”

Carefully, they settled back into bed together, with her head against his chest as they wrapped their arms around each other. He caressed her back as she slowly fell asleep in his arms. He stayed awake a little longer, watching her, and thinking about the time they had wasted. He looked forward to seeing what would happen when they woke up in the morning. As he drifted back to sleep, he thought about how he hoped he would be able to fall asleep with her in his arms every night.


	8. Chapter 8

Claire groaned when Neil’s alarm went off again, however, this time she could feel his laughter since she was still in his arms. She missed his warmth when he moved away from her to turn it off.

“Are you still going to the gym?” she asked yawning. With her nightmare waking them up in the middle of the night, she knew she was still tired and wondered if he was as well. She couldn’t complain too much about it though because it had led to them finally admitting their feelings for each other.

“I can stay here if you’d like,” he said softly.

She knew that they wouldn’t get anything accomplished if they tried to have a conversation now. She wouldn’t mind staying in his arms as she got some more sleep but didn’t want to mess with his routine.

Yawning again, she shook her head. “I don’t want you to blame me when you get restless later for not going to the gym.”

He laughed, “I think you’ve been the one getting restless, if your notes and drawings are any indication.” He reached out and gently caressed her face, “Are you okay?”

She reached up to place her hand against his, “I’m fine.” 

He climbed out of the bed and tucked the covers back around her. Brushing his lips against her head, he said, “Get some sleep.”

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep as he left to head to the gym. Some time later she woke up and heard him in the shower. She stretched, surprised that she hadn’t woken up when he came back in. She propped herself up against the headboard as she waited for him to come out. She thought about the way it had felt last night to fall back asleep in his arms and how easy it was to tell him she loved him. She knew they needed to talk more, but she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her, now that they had that part out of the way.

“How was the gym?” she asked, as he came out of the bathroom.

“It was quiet,” he answered, “How was sleeping in?”

“Good.”

He came to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. “We should talk about last night.”

She reached out and took his hand, “The part where I told you I love you or the nightmare?”

“Both.”

She glanced at the time, “Should we wait until after the sessions?”

“No, we can be late,” he answered, “We’ve waited six months, I don’t want us to wait anymore.”

She squeezed his hand, “Let me get dressed first.”

“Okay,” he stood up tugging on her hand gently. She gave into her desire to touch him and stepped towards him to wrap her arms around him. His arms came around her as he hugged her tightly. Reluctantly she stepped away from him.

She went into the bathroom and quickly got ready for the day. She was nervous about the conversation but knew that he was right that they had waited long enough. She had already shared the hardest part that she loved him. Once she was dressed, she went and sat beside him on the loveseat. As soon as she was beside him, her nervousness settled.

“How long have you been having those nightmares?” he asked softly.

She hadn’t expected him to start the conversation with her nightmares. She had gotten used to dealing with them and thought that their confession of their love for each other was more important. She saw the concern in his eyes and sighed.

“They started shortly after the earthquake,” she admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I wanted you to focus on getting better. You almost died that night, Neil. You didn’t need to worry about me.”

He moved closer to her and took both her hands in his, “I love you, Claire, of course I’m going to worry about you. Do you want to talk about them?”

She looked down at their hands, “Not really,” she answered. “I’m not trying to keep something from you, I just don’t like thinking about them.” She focused on the fact that he was beside her, and she wasn’t saying goodbye to him as she had in her dreams.

“I’m not going to ask you to tell me about them if you don’t want to. Just know that I’m here if you change your mind.”’

“I know. Thank you.” She intertwined her fingers with his. “I love you too. I should have told you that again months ago.”

“I could have told you too.”

“I just,” she sighed. “I had myself convinced that you didn’t mean it. That you just said it back to comfort me since you thought you were going to die. That you wanted to give me something to hold onto when I was without you. And then you never brought it up, so I thought you just wanted us to be friends.” She shook her head. “It seems so stupid now.”

“I understand what you were thinking,” he said, “I had myself convinced too. I thought it would be easier to keep things as they were instead of risking another broken heart.” He tugged on her hand bringing her even closer. “But I want you to know that I’ve loved you since before that night. I was more relieved than I told you when you ended things with Dash.”

She thought about how both of them had let their fears get in the way of something special. “I only called him because you seemed to think it was a good idea.”

“I just wanted you to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” she said firmly. “You have for a long time, longer than I wanted to admit.”

She leaned towards him, wanting to close the distance between them and finally see what it felt like to kiss him. He gently stopped her.

“There is one more thing, I need to tell you.”

“What?”

“Audrey knows about us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told her about my feelings for you, and she’s been pushing me for months to talk to you about it,” he glanced around the room, “I’m pretty sure she set this up to force us to have this conversation.” He caressed her cheek, “I didn’t want to hide anything from you. I’m sorry that I talked to her instead of you.”

“I can’t be mad at you,” she said, “I’ve had similar talks with Morgan. She thought I should have told you when you first woke up from surgery.” She let herself get lost in his eyes, “It’s just you’re really important to me, Neil, and I didn’t want to mess that up.”

“You’re important to me too. I thought I could pretend to just be friends with you, but you are so much more than that.”

She closed the distance between them, gently brushing her lips against his. His arms came around her, drawing her closer as he deepened the kiss. She had many fantasies about what it would be like to kiss him, and it went beyond what she could have ever imagined.

Eventually, she pulled away from him, “Do we have to go to the conference?” she asked breathlessly.

He kissed her once more, “Unfortunately.” They both moved to stand up. “But for something to look forward to, I’d like to take you to dinner tonight.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Yes, I am.”

Grinning, she leaned up to kiss him again. “I can’t wait.” Slipping her hand in his, she said, “Let’s go get this torture over with.”

He tugged her closer to him, “It’s not so bad with you next to me.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re such a sap.”

“It’s true. You make anything better.”

She groaned causing him to laugh. “I may have to rethink this whole thing. It’s bad enough you’re a morning person, but a romantic too. What have I gotten myself into?”

He pulled her into his arms. “I don’t think you mind as much as you say you do.”

“Maybe I’ll get used to it,” she said softly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They gathered their things for the conference and headed down to their first session. She kept her hand in his, the whole ride down the elevator, but let go once the doors opened. As they settled into their spots, she positioned herself so that she was closer to him than before. Making sure her body would brush against his would guarantee they would both have a better time at the sessions today. They could torture each other as they waited for their dinner date.


	9. Chapter 9

Neil had woken up before his alarm went off, content to have Claire asleep in his arms. It was only the second night he had held her close and he knew he would have a hard time not having her beside him. He thought about the conversation they had yesterday morning, and how easily it was now to admit their feelings for each other. 

He hadn’t anticipated the distractions she would cause once they had gone to their sessions for the day. She had positioned herself closer to him and had made sure to drive him crazy by gently touching him without anyone else noticing. He was tempted to remind her of how that first day she wanted to sit up front and how she never would have gotten away with her torture there. There had been a few times, where he was tempted to tell her that they should head back to their room. Even their date ended up not being what he expected.

_He knew that it was ridiculous to be nervous going out to dinner with Claire, they had just been out together the night before, but it felt different knowing that it was a date. He had stepped out on the balcony to get some air. He startled when she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist._

_“How attached are you to the idea of going out?” she asked._

_“I’m fine with whatever you want to do. I just thought you’d want a chance to see more of Seattle.”_

_“I can see it fine from here.”_

_He turned around wrapping his arms around her. He grinned as he noticed she had already changed into her pajamas. “What would you have done if I wanted us to go?”_

_“I could change,” she kissed him, “Or convince you that staying in is a better plan. I thought maybe some room service and we could talk some more,” she looked uncertain. “If that was okay with you.”_

_“I’m good as long as I’m with you,” he said laughing as she rolled her eyes. He had always been a romantic, and had no intentions on changing his behavior, especially when he thought she secretly enjoyed it._

_They went back inside the room and ordered room service. He went to change. It might not be the traditional first date that he wanted to have with her, but if he was being honest, they’d been dating for months. It didn’t take long for the food to arrive and they settled in to eat after Neil poured them both some wine. He held up his glass to her and she tapped her glass against his._

_“To the start of something amazing,” he said._

_“I don’t know if I’d say the start,” she argued, “It’s been pretty amazing all along.”_

_“True,” he admitted, “What would you call it?”_

_“The acknowledgement of something amazing.”_

_He tapped her glass again. “I love you,” he said, finding he wanted to tell her as often as possible after hiding it the past few months._

_Her smile lit up her face, “I love you too.” She took a drink of wine. “Can I ask you something?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“This morning, you said that you were in love with me before the earthquake, when did you know?” she asked._

_“When did I know or when did I fall for you?”_

_“Both.”_

_“I don’t think there was one thing that made me fall in love you. We just started spending more time together, and I realized how happy I was with you.” He reached for his wine. “It started as wanting to be there for you, but it quickly became so much more.” Taking a drink, he continued, “If I’m completely honest the prom you set up.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Don’t look so surprised. You gave them something magical that night. I always knew you were special, but that night I got to see it even more, and then seeing you hurting after she died, I wanted to do whatever I could to make you feel better.” He took another drink, “I don’t think I realized what that meant until I saw you with Dash.”_

_She reached over and smacked him on the arm, “You pushed me towards him.”_

_“Like I told you, I just wanted you to be happy.”_

_“And what about your happiness? You deserve to be happy too.”_

_“I am,” he said giving her a smile. “Now, how about you?”_

_She sighed, “I told my therapist I was in love with you the night you told me I make you a better surgeon and a better person.”_

_He shook his head, “I thought for sure I had messed everything up that night.”_

_“I may have panicked a little.” She took a bite of food, before continuing, “Do you remember when we were looking at the scans before we had that prom, and I told you I didn’t think I’d ever been happy like that before?”_

_“I do.”_

_“I was wrong. I feel that with you.”_

_“I feel it with you too,” he said softly._

_She held up her glass to him again, “To no longer hiding what we’re feeling from each other.”_

_“And idiotic happiness.”_

_They tapped their glasses again, both unable to stop smiling._

They had finished dinner and then moved to snuggle with each other as they watched a movie. When they were ready for bed, they climbed into bed together. There was no space between them as they carefully explored each other before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

His alarm went off, interrupting his thoughts. He couldn’t help but laugh as Claire groaned at the sound. It amused him to see how cranky she was first thing in the morning. He reached over to turn off the alarm. Having already decided that he didn’t want to leave her in bed, he set an alarm for a later time.

“Good morning,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“No,” she mumbled, snuggling closer against him. “It’s too early.” He settled back under the covers with her, enjoying the feel of her against him. “You’re not getting up?”

“I thought it might be nice to try this sleeping in you’re so found of.”

“Good,” she said. “Then go back to sleep.”

He chuckled softly as he got comfortable. Closing his eyes, he dozed off for a while, enjoying extra time with her. When he heard his alarm a second time, he stretched to turn it off. Claire cuddled next to him.

“I thought I had dreamt you stayed.”

He let his fingers trail against her arm, “You were too tempting to leave.”

“Just don’t be too annoying during the sessions,” she said kissing him. “I know you’re not used to keeping still.”

“It’s your fault if I am.”

They continued their routine of getting ready and heading to the sessions. The difference now was they took a little longer as they enjoyed touching and kissing each other. Once down in the conference room, they settled in for another day of long boring sessions.

He decided that he shouldn’t let her get all the fun and made sure that he was able to place his hand against her leg, as she had done to him the day before. It was a struggle for him to maintain their professionalism as she moved even closer to whisper her questions in his ear instead of writing them on his notepad.

He was tempted to see if she would be interested in taking their break back in the room, but knew if they did, they wouldn’t leave to attend the last session. Unfortunately, as they had gone over the schedule earlier, that session was the only one they had any interest in seeing.

She turned to him, “Want to get some coffee before this last one?”

“I’m buying,” he said as they stood up.

“I can buy us coffee,” she argued.

“Are you going to fight me every time I want to do something for you?” he asked as they headed towards the coffee stand.

She shrugged, “I did before we were together, so why stop now?”

“Because sometimes you’re going to have to deal with me wanting to spoil you.”

“Maybe I want to do the same for you.”

Before he could answer, they were interrupted by someone calling her name.

Turning, he noticed that Claire had a smile on her face as a gentleman came up to them.

“I thought that was you,” he said grinning as he pulled her into a big hug.

“Mike,” she said, gesturing to him, “This is Dr. Neil Melendez.”

Neil shook his hand wondering how he knew Claire.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said before turning his attention back to Claire. “How are you? We haven’t heard anything from you in months.”

She made a face, “I’m sorry, I had to change my number, I didn’t even think about it.”

“As long as you’re okay. We’ve been worried,” he looked at Neil. “We were in school together. Our study group kept in touch, and none of have heard from Claire Bear in ages.”

“No,” she groaned, “don’t call me that.”

He bit his lip to keep from laughing at her obvious dislike for the nickname and wanted to learn more about the story behind it.

“We probably would’ve stopped calling you that if you didn’t hate it so much.” He glanced at Neil again. “Despite working three jobs, Claire always had the best study guides and somehow more volunteer hours than any of us.”

“I’m not surprised,” he said, always proud of her.

“How’s Jackie?” she asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

“She’s good,” Mike answered, reaching for his phone. “She’s home with MJ,” he scrolled through to find a picture for her. “He’ll be a year-old next month.”

“He’s gotten so big,” she said, “He’s adorable.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Now, give me your new number so I can give it to Jackie.”

“Of course,” she said, telling him the number.

“And don’t disappear on us like that again.”

“I won’t.”

He shook Neil’s hand again, “It was nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

He watched as Mike left.

Claire turned to look at him, “Don’t.”

He tried to hold back his laughter. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Really?”

“No, it’s just nice to know that you were a soft touch even in med school.” They joined the line to get their coffee. “Just curious, what would you do if I called you that?”

She thought about it for a moment before giving him a sly smile, “I wouldn’t be kissing you anymore.”

That was enough of an incentive for him not to use her college nickname, but he did plan to keep it in mind to tease her about at some point.

Once they had their coffee, they headed back into the conference room for the last sessions.

“What do you want to do for dinner tonight?” he asked.

“We could go out,” she answered. “See a little bit more of Seattle.” She smiled at him, “Or if you’d like, we could stay in again.”

They settled back into their seats. “I think staying in might be nice.”

Resting her hand against, his leg, she said, “I feel bad you skipped the gym this morning.”

“Oh, does that mean you want to try it out with me tonight?”

As the presenter started, Claire leaned over and whispered, “That’s not the type of exercise I was thinking of.”

He took a large sip of coffee to settle himself at that thought. Thinking about their evening together the rest of the day couldn’t go by fast enough.


	10. Chapter 10

The rest of their stay at the hotel for the conference was much more pleasant. Their last two days there, Claire wasn’t woken up by his alarm, but instead by his hands caressing her and his lips against her neck. When not in the sessions, they took the time to explore each other and learn more about their wants and desires. The boring sessions weren’t as bad, when she knew what was waiting for her when they made their way back upstairs. She might not have been able to see much of Seattle but spending the time with Neil was much better.

She knew that they wouldn’t be able to lounge in bed as they had the past few days since they needed to finish packing and head to the airport for their flight. There was a part of her that worried things would be different once they got back home. She had no doubts about Neil’s feelings for her, but they had gone from being just the two of them and would then have to work on the logistics of working together especially with him still being an attending.

He gently ran his fingers up her arm, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said.

“Claire, something’s bothering you. I thought we agreed not to hide anything anymore.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” she insisted, “I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“What happens when we get back.”

She could feel his smile as he kissed her, “More of this,” he said his hand coming to rest against her waist pulling her closer, “And this.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She traced over the lines of his tattoo. “It’s going to be different once we’re back at work.”

“Not too much,” he said. “We’ll keep things professional there, but once we go home, we just enjoy each other.”

“You think it’s going to be that easy?”

“I think we’re going to make it that easy. You’re too important to me to do anything else.”

His conviction about things between them settled some of her nerves, but she still worried about what would happen at work.

“You make it sound so simple.” Her hand drifted to the scar on his stomach. “There are going to be people who aren’t happy this.”

“I know,” he sighed. “And we will have to take a trip to HR. I do think it will help that I’m not your boss anymore.”

“I hope so,” she said softly. “People will still talk.”

“You tell me if anyone gives you a hard time.”

Her hand drifted from his scar back to his tattoo. “And what will you do?”

“Tell them how brilliant you are, and that you don’t need me.”

She kissed him, “That’s not completing true.”

“Oh,” he said grinning, “You’re not brilliant?”

“No, I am,” she said matching his smile, “I meant that part about not needing you.”

“I meant at work.” He brought his hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “And other than HR, Audrey, Marcus and Aaron, we don’t need to tell anyone else.”

“I don’t want it to be a secret, but what if we don’t tell Morgan right away so she thinks her plan failed?”

He laughed, “I think we should be thanking her and Audrey. This was just what we needed to take that next step. We might need to buy them a gift.” 

“What kind of gift says thank you for forcing us to admit we love each other?”

“Alcohol.” He checked the time. “Unfortunately, we need to get up if we want to catch our flight.”

She kissed him. “I blame you for keeping me up so late.”

“You didn’t seem to mind last night.”

“I didn’t.”

They stayed in bed a few more minutes before finally getting up to get dressed. It took a little longer than it should as they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves, both wanting to make up for lost time. Claire finished packing quickly, having never really taken anything out of her suitcase. Neil took a little longer. 

She sat on the bed watching him, “We’d be leaving already if you didn’t have to make everything perfect.”

“Not everyone can live out of a suitcase like you can, Claire Bear.”

She groaned, “I told you I wouldn’t be kissing you if you called me that.”

He came over to her and wrapped his arms around her, “I don’t think you’ll be able to resist me.”

Neil leaned forward to kiss her, but she turned her head away from him. She started laughing as he started tickling her as he tried to kiss her. They wrestled together for a little while before she gave in and allowed him to kiss her.

“Told you,” he said softy.

“You were right this time,” she admitted, already thinking about what she could do the next time he called her that because not kissing him ended up hurting them both.

They spent a few more minutes enjoy being in each other’s arms before they were able to check out and get in the car.

She slipped her hand in his as they drove to the airport. “Most of the sessions this week were boring,” she said, “But I’m really glad that I was here with you.”

He brought her hand up to kiss it. “I had fun with you too. Maybe next time we can get away from the hospital it will be for a real vacation.”

“Sounds nice,” she said, already thinking about enjoying lounging on a beach with him somewhere.

“I was wondering,” he started, “When we get back, do you want me to take you home or would you like to come to my place?”

“We can go to yours,” she answered. “I’ve gotten used to sleeping next to you.”

“Just sleeping?” he teased.

She smiled. “I just like being with you.”

“Me too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She thought about the changes in their relationship over the week and was grateful that they finally took that next step. She had faith that things would work out at the hospital as long as he was by her side. The only regret she had was that they hadn’t said something to each other sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading and for such kind words during this story. I really struggled with getting this one the way I wanted, and your feedback was so helpful! I almost gave up on this story halfway through so thank you all for sticking with it, I really appreciate it!!


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